Because peace is the priority
I wake up so many mornings with a subtle underlying sense of confusion about my life. What am I doing? What is this life I am experiencing? How will I tackle this day? I once heard Lama Tsultrim Allione say that this subtle anxiety we perpetually experience is caused by our separation from the "ground of being." Call it God, nature, the Universe, peace, wisdom, higher self. Probably all of my actions are in some way an attempt to end this separation and the endless web of suffering it produces. Over the years, I have learned to resist the urge to propel myself into action when this uncomfortable feeling surfaces. Especially in the mornings, when the day and the self are relatively malleable. In the mornings, I find, is when the work is most effective. Repeatedly, over and over again, I sit down with my journal and examine, analyze, look at the issue from different angles. I resist the urge to escape into comfort and instead, confront the affliction with the objectivity and detachment of a surgeon about to perform a surgery. Day after day, morning after morning, affliction after affliction. With deep precision, the wound has to be examined, removed and allowed to heal. Loneliness, anxiety, change, aging, death, purpose, relationships, attachment, success, belonging, self, all of these aspects of life completely govern our every moment, if we don't examine their nature and strip them of their power. To gradually reduce our troubled states of mind is no fun endeavor, but it yields results in a predictable manner. I have found that it paves the way for peace. This is what I'm personally interested in. I'm not here to just 'feel good' and make this worldly experience a little more tolerable. And as I continue to trip, fall on my face, and wake up confused, I also continue trusting in cause and effect. Keep showing up, do the work, and witness the results. Slowly, the heart begins to find peace in the midst of it all, because peace is the priority.